The 5 things your kids will remember about you

It’s a funny joke, but also an important reminder that life is short and our time with our kids is going to go by fast. With that in mind, I want to make the most of every minute and create the kind of legacy that will endure long after I’m gone. This isn’t a morbid thought, but rather an important way to stay focused on what matters most with every minute we have with our kids.

As the Bible says, “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is.” Psalm 39:4

As parents, we tend to stress about things that don’t matter all that much. Our kids probably aren’t going to remember every detail of our home decor, or how perfect our landscaping looked or whether our refrigerator was stocked was name brands or generics. Let’s focus on what really matters. If you want to know what your kids will remember about you, here it is:

5 things your kids will remember about you:

1. The times you made them feel safe (or the times you made them feel unsafe).

There’s a vulnerability and a need for protection in the heart of every child. Your kids will remember those moments you chased the monsters from under their bed or held them after a nightmare, but they’ll also remember the times when your temper became the monster they feared. Our kids are probably going to see us angry sometimes, because that’s part of life, but make it your mission to make your children feel safe and secure at all times when they’re with you.

2. The times you gave them your undivided attention.

Kids measure love primarily by our attentiveness to them. The times you stop what you’re doing to have a tea party or go outside to throw a ball or jump on a trampoline with be memories etched into their minds and hearts forever. Take the time to do the little things with your kids, because in the end, they’ll be the moments that matter most.

3. The way you interacted with your spouse.

Our kids are forming their views of love in large part by watching how we treat our husband or wife. Strive to have the kind of marriage that makes them excited to get married someday. Give them the security that comes from seeing their Mom and Dad in a committed, loving relationship with each other.

4. Your words of affirmation AND your words of criticism.

A child’s heart is like wet cement and the impression made early in life will harden over time. They’ll base their sense of identity, capability and even self-worth largely upon the words you speak to them in those formative years. Part of our job as parents is to correct and discipline, but even in correction, let your words be full of love, encouragement and positive reinforcement.

5. Your family traditions.

Kids love spontaneity, but they also have  deep need for predictability. They’ll remember with great fondness the “traditions” you establish whether it’s a weekly family movie (or game) night, a place you regularly travel for family getaways, the way you celebrate birthdays and special events or any other special tradition. Be intentional about creating some traditions that they’ll want to pass onto their own children someday.

Dear 38

Dear 38,

Woah! How are you already over? Congratulations on being the fastest year of my life.

If you could waltz, I feel like we did. I don't know how to waltz. So basically, I didn't know how to do this year.

You were hard, 38. You brought a lot of moments that I wasn't prepared for. You brought health scares and stress. You were overwhelming and it was hard to handle at times.You brought moments when literally the only thing I knew to do was to fall on my face and just cry and pray. And that was hard. But I'm thankful for it. You brought me closure to my faith in God. 

You also brought a lot of new. So much new, actually. You brought new experiences. New restaurants, new cities, new memories. You brought San Francisco in a new way! A double decker bus I hadn't rode since I was a child through Bay Bridge Park, visiting SF Public Library. Eating lunch on the Wharf and late night coffee and pastry runs while shopping.

You brought surprises. I like surprises. People are the best surprises and you brought me family from Singapore!  A small group that I love and encourages me to grow. A husband and father that constantly points me to Christ and never fails to make me laugh. A daughter that loves adventures and Target as much as I do. A mother who has undenying love for myself no matter the situation. 

You brought growth. This year I got to watch my boys grow like crazy. Landon giggles and chatters on in his gibberish and keeps us on our toes. Daniel is becoming more stable in his Diabetes care. It also brought personal growth. I have grown more confident in myself and who I am.

You brought accomplishments. I've repaired relationships and moved forward from others. I've personally grown. I'm now gluten free and live a vegan lifestyle. My kids hate it. 

You brought feelings. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. 38 was filled with all the feels.
You brought confusion and understanding. You brought stress and peace. You brought pain and comfort. You brought conflict and resolution.

You brought all of these events- and every single one of them, even the hard ones, reminded me that God is faithful. He started good work in His kids and He is not going to up and leave them when they mess up. God is faithful to wait it out.

Thank you for a crazy fun, crazy hard, crazy new, year. I hope 39 teaches me just as much about who God is and how faithful He is. And is filled with twice as many pastries and tea along the way... 

Yours Truly,

MariaAnn 

You are a good mom

I found a post I had written when my son was young. It's a great reflection post to read and share... 

Several months ago I wrote this post describing what no one told me about becoming a mom. My baby recently turned one and I am so thankful we made it through that first year. Although most of those hard times are behind us, I think we trade them for other challenges. One of the biggest challenges I face is feeling guilty.

As moms, we often let ourselves believe that when our child is hurt or doesn't succeed, we are failing. My prayerful goal for 2013 is that I won't allow myself to believe those lies and that you won't, either. So next time those negative thoughts start to creep in, remind yourself that...

When you child falls down, you are still a good mom.

When your child get sick, you are still a good mom.

When your child throws a tantrum, you are still a good mom.

Whether you have a career or stay home, you are a good mom.

When there is oatmeal on the kitchen floor and it has been there for three days, you are still a good mom.

When frozen pizza becomes a basic food group, you are still a good mom.

When the kids are screaming, the dog is barking, the smoke detector is going off, and someone is knocking on the door, you are still a good mom.

When you want some alone time, you are still a good mom.

When your birthday party isn't Pinterest worthy, you are still a good mom.

When your child isn't potty trained, you're still a good mom.

When some days are just hard and you put on Daniel Tiger and walk away, you're still a good mom.

When your husband comes home to a messy house, an un-showered wife, and screaming kids, you are still a good mom.

When I think about my childhood, I don't remember every meal my mom made, how clean the house was, or homemade decorations she made for birthday parties. I do remember her holding me when I fell, eating pizza on the living room floor in the middle of a thunderstorm, and spending lazy days watching movies. I remember falling asleep on the couch and being carried to my bed. I remember laughing with my mom and I remember crying with her.

"Mommy guilt" is real. Today you may be feeling like a bad mom. But know this - regardless of the chaos surrounding you and your household..... YOU are a good mom.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some oatmeal to clean up...

How to become more organized in 21 days

I love all things organization. I love baskets, bins, label makers, planners, folders, lists, and calendars. However, I am not an organized person. Although I love when things are in their place, it doesn't come naturally for me.

I have worked very diligently at becoming more organized over the past two years. It has been proven that repeating a task for 21 days forms a habit. It took a few weeks of enforcing these small tasks but they quickly became habits and my home stays more organized because of it.

1. Have a catch all drawer, bin, or basket -  Inevitably, there are going to be small items that really just don't have a home. A cabinet door handle, a lone crayon, half a pack of gum, etc. Having a drawer for them prevents kitchen counter pile-ups. 

2. Create three bins for bills, to file, and receipts -  This was a game changer for us. Whenever I check the mail I don't always have time to pay the bills or file paperwork right away. The bins prevent them from piling up on the desk or counter until we could get to them. It also keeps things from getting misplaced. It only takes 1 minute to put things in the proper bin.

3. Throw away junk mail as soon as you get it - We get so much junk mail. Quickly throwing it away cuts down on clutter.

4. Donate - If you don't use it, get rid of it. It is just creating clutter.

5.. Do one load of laundry each day - Putting one load in the washer each morning and in the dryer each night prevents those dreaded Saturday laundry marathons. 

6. Have a 15 minute "pick-up" session every evening - Set the timer. Straighten the main living area. Fold the blankets. Fluff the pillows. Place items that belong upstairs at the bottom of the steps to be taken up later. You get much more done in 15 minutes of focused time than you would think. 

7. Make your bed each morning - An unmade bed can cause even the cleanest room to look messy. Making your bed each day motivates you and sets the tone for the day. It also eliminates the temptation to climb back in, because who wants to mess up a freshly made bed?

8. Have a schedule... and follow it - On Mondays, I sweep and mop. Tuesdays, I clean the bathrooms. Having a schedule prevents every chore from falling on the same day or feeling like you can never catch up. I know this sounds a little over-the-top, but it really helps me when I stick to it. There are tons of free printables online. My favorites are here + here. 

9. Put things back - This is probably the most important tip and likely the most difficult. Put it back right after you are finished with it. This is something my family constantly works at but if we all make a conscious effort, the house stays much more organized. 21 days makes a habit, 21 days makes a habit, 21 days makes a habit... 

10. Use a planner - Whether you struggle to remember things or not, using a planner is a good idea. It prevents you from missing appointments, double booking yourself, and reminds you when things are due.

11. Use baskets - I use baskets for everything. I have one for blankets, DVD's, toys, and magazines/books. That's just in the living room. They make clean up easy and make your home feel much more organized. Target always has a great selection of baskets along with TJ Max + Marshall's. 

To some, organization comes naturally. Others of us love when things are in order, but don't have the diligence. Some of you are likely being encouraged by your spouse, parents, co-workers, or boss to become more organized. Whatever your reason, I hope you leave motivated + ready to get organized!

Diabetes diary 1/25/16

A update on our diabetes journey. I suppose in the daily routine of life, I've become accustomed to the ups and downs that I often forget to take a moment to post. I have to admit the freedom of Daniel living life on an insulin pump has been life changing. Blood sugars are much better. There are still the spikes. There are still the lows. The disease still reminds us it is here everyday, but to our family it is just business as usual. We correct as the time arises and in the meantime enjoy life to the fullest.

The boys are growing up and thriving. The winter season is upon us. Daniel is busy playing basketball for his junior high. He wears his insulin pump during his game proudly on the back of his basketball shorts. The referee before the game does mention it to the other team I suppose as a sign of caution. The boys are boys and still play just as rough as usual. I wouldn't have it any other way. Let them play ball! 

He is just one of the boys with not a care in the world. It is just the way it should be for a twelve year old in the seventh grade. He is accepted as one of his peers and is going through his pre-teen years in stride. 

As I sit here tonight and write this post I'm so thankful for this moment to reflect on how far we have come in Daniel's journey. Four years has just passed since he was diagnosed, he is six months into using his insulin pump therapy, and with every site change I see his skin heal from all the injection sites he once had from years of many injections he had daily. It is such a blessing to see such a difference. 

Let's continue to have a great new year. I'm looking forward to what's next to come. My Type 1 kid rocks!