Congratulations on a successful 3rd Diaversary!

Have you ever wondered why people with Type 1 Diabetes talk about the anniversary of their diabetes diagnosis as if it's a birthday or a wedding anniversary? A Type 1 diagnosis is so life-altering, almost no one can forget the day of diagnosis and there is even a slang word for it: diaversary.

I bring this up now because we just celebrated Daniel's 3rd Diaversary. It's hard for me to believe that we have been living with diabetes for 3 years and instead of being upset or sad like one would expect, I feel strangely happy about it. I feel good and I feel like celebrating.

My son would be horrified if we didn't celebrate...he looks forward to it each year like his birthday. We do a big celebration...I pick him up at school and take him out to lunch, he gets to choose what we have for dinner, we have an ice cream cake, and he gets a small gift. It is definitely a "what a great job you do" and not a "yay diabetes" kind of thing. He has so many times during the year when it is like...no, you're low, you have to wait a few minutes to go play outside...or, no, you have ketones, you can't ride your skateboard right now. I think he definitely deserves one day that, BECAUSE he has diabetes, he GETS things instead of losing them or missing out.  This year his day fell on a weekend so we celebrated with a trip to Knott's Berry Farm.

 

The boys rode rides and enjoyed their lunch and dinner at the park. We made every correction as needed. His blood sugar was running high. I am assuming its from all the excitement that day. We laughed a lot and shared memories as we spent the time waiting in lines to enjoy a ride. Even though we had a bad diabetes day, it turned out to be a great day. Daniel deserves to enjoy this diaversary. He has made it this far with only one trip back to the hospital for DKA. We will celebrate every year for as long as he wants to. 

Daniel even got over his fear of roller coasters and rode more rides than I imagined he would. What an exciting day it was for all of us. Even little Landon enjoyed his time in Camp Snoopy. He's a little thrill seeker. He loved all his rides and says "again" when it ends.
 

Good luck to all the other families celebrating a diaversary with whatever you do. I think it is a day to reflect and celebrate how far you've all come and how you haven't let diabetes rule your lives. So, congrats again!

Potty Training Take #3

They say the third time is a charm. We have made progress and Landon has gone "pee pee in the potty". He is still afraid of the idea. He isn't quite sure why I continually ask him if he needs to use the potty and he cries every time I place him on his potty chair. He has three options to use and he doesn't seem to like any of them. These are the moments I cherish, yet find tough at the same time. I enjoy every milestone we reach together. I love to see the joy in his eyes when he accomplishes something and to see him raise his arms in the air and say "I did it!" in that cute little voice.

As I write this post, I look over and Landon is doing flips, hanging upside down, or laying with his feet over his head.

 

So, while Daddy is at work and big brother is at school, we are about to go bottomless for the day. YIKES! Keeping my fingers crossed! Time to run to the potty...

Diabetes Diary - 1/13/15

 

"I hate that my son has diabetes.”  These were the words that came out of my mouth as I sit down on the couch this morning.  This is first time that I have actual said this out loud and finally been able to talk about the effect this disease has had on our lives. I feel as though the reality of this diagnosis has been weighing fairly heavy on me lately.  I am still at that stage where I can think back to this time 3 years ago, the focus was on my pregnancy and planning the birth of our new child and the joy that surrounded that.  Not knowing what was brewing in my poor son Daniel's body.

We will celebrate our 3 year anniversary on Saturday, January 17th and I wonder how long it will take for myself not to carry with it the sting of sadness.  It is nice to read other parents feelings on the matter, with our hectic schedules our family doesn't always have the opportunity to discuss how we are effected by all of this. We spend our energy and time making sure that our children are coping, especially Daniel.

For an instant, it was a welcome relief to realize that I am not the only one carrying the burden of Type 1 Diabetes, and affirmation that being only a few days away from the anniversary of our son’s diagnosis, I am not the only one still angry.  Continuing to remind myself that grief is different for everyone and that given the fact that I still don’t look upon Type 1 Diabetes with a comfortable recognition doesn’t mean I haven’t accepted the responsibility willingly.

There are many days I hate Diabetes, most days I do.  Me and Diabetes are not friendly by any means, we tolerate each other because we have to.  If given the opportunity I would do away with Diabetes and make it so that he couldn’t pick on an innocent child ever again.  But, for now we must remain in survival mode when it comes to Diabetes and when frustration strikes we push forward and fight back harder.

Daniel, who endures the pokes and blood draws and burning of insulin injections with a bravery I could only hope to have, has taught me the greatest lesson in life. It is time to slow down, take each day as it comes, one moment at a time, and be willing to change and adjust at a moments notice. I feel for all the families afflicted by this disease. It doesn't get easier to see your child get poked and hear them say "ouch" or "it burns". It is something that just has to be done and the maturity the children have in coping with their disease amazes me every single day.

I love the positivity that the community has as it pertains to the manageability of Type 1 Diabetes, but at the end of the day, forgetting to release the negative isn’t the answer. There are many, many days when living with and managing this disease are exhausting and no matter what I do, there is always an element of failure attached to certain outcomes. Today is one of those days. But, tomorrow will be better. Embracing the negative realities while projecting positivity can be a delicate and difficult balance. There is so much pressure to promote normalcy, which I believe is easy when children are young and believe that everyone gets poked in order to eat, it’s when they get older and realize that they are different that the true fight begins. Our toddler son thinks it is completely normal that his older brother gets his finger poked or get injections and always asks for his turn. But, for Daniel, he is a tween, in 6th grade, preparing for junior high, hormones from beginning puberty have begun, and he is beginning to share his frustrations.

For now, I am geared toward allowing my son to have days when it’s OK to say Diabetes sucks, but when we have good days, with amazing numbers and wonderful outcomes, we celebrate those and live as long as we can in those moments. 

Diabetes Diary - 1/12/15

I think most parents of children with diabetes can relate to me when I say that managing type 1 is a roller-coaster ride. Sometimes you’ll have those magical days and weeks when everything seems to be going beautifully. When Daniel’s in range after every meal, he stays stable through the night, and you pat yourself on the back for balancing on the diabetes roller coaster ride so well. Then just when you think you have it all figured out, something changes and the numbers start going haywire. Back to the drawing board — it’s time to make adjustments once again.

As we approach his 3rd DIA-birthday, we hope to be on an insulin pump this year. We are working closely with his doctor and nurses to help manage his blood sugars. We faithfully have been faxing in his blood sugars weekly for four months now as our insurance requires that we prove we are keeping logs of his daily numbers to consider our application for a pump. I had no idea when this adventure began on January 17, 2012 that we would be three years into this and still making adjustments. All the classes are informational, but I don't think you truly absorb the new lifestyle until you are living it. You learn the new normal. You learn as you go what your insurance will and will not cover. All are lessons you don't pay attention to when you have healthy children.

There always seems to be something happening that affects his blood sugar levels or insulin needs — a growth spurt, an illness, a change in exercise habits, emotional stress or who knows what else.
A couple of nights ago, on the menu was spaghetti with garlic bread and, of course, it's Daniel's favorite. Even though he was at his target range right before dinner, the carb-heavy meal threw his numbers way out of range. Before he went to bed, Daniel was very high and even with consistent checking and corrections, it took us all night to get him back in range.

These kinds of experiences are hard, but in the long run, I think it’s actually helping us become closer as a family. We’re all learning to be a little bit more flexible, a little more patient, a little less selfish, and a little more sensitive to what our Daniel goes through on those less than perfect days. Even our toddler understands his big brother needs to check his sugars often and will even ask for his turn to check his little fingers or for his insulin shot like his big brother.

We have decided this week to return to bringing lunches from home, skipping high carb meals, and ensuring he has plenty of options for free snacks to get him through the day. His numbers have been within his target range this weekend. Fingers crossed for a better week this week than last. He has been suffering lows at school which have just been difficult for us in the afternoons to get him back into target range after his corrections. His highs last week when he is home was very frustrating. It's a daily balancing act. But, I have hope this will be a better week.

Rainy days lead to organizing

It has been a wonderful weekend of cloudy and rainy days here in Southern California which is rare and I am glad I took the time to enjoy it. Time simply slowed down as the rain drops fell playing a wonderful song and the weekend seemed longer. There was no rush to get anything done. No rush to head out the door to a football game or a birthday party, no rush to spend the day shopping for the holidays, or to even head out of town. It made for a cozy weekend at home, organizing closets, doing laundry, packing up our donations for Goodwill, renting movies, home cooking, and just hanging out. I feel refreshed not only for the new week, but for the new year.

When we downsized from our house to our apartment, we placed numerous boxes into the closets to eventually unpack. After living in our little place for a few months, we realized how much we didn't use and therefore didn't need. I mean honestly, if it has been in a box for months and we didn't look for it, do we really need it? This was the question that continually came up as we began our unpacking and organizing journey. I have to admit it was nice to find things I presumed were lost in the move. Sharing memories with the boys along the way of their outgrown clothes, school projects, pictures, toys they had forgotten they had and watching the boys decide what they wanted to donate to another child to enjoy simply made us proud. I am very thankful my boys can appreciate what they have been given and selflessly share what they are ready to give away. The simple virtues we instill in our children will guide them through their lives. It isn't always what your given. It is also about giving. So, as we organized our home, we organized our lives.

We did find time to take our toddler to the park when the rain seemed to slow to a sprinkle. He chased squirrels, rode his tricycle, climbed his little heart out, and giggled along the way. It was muddy, his pants got dirty, he got wet from the small puddles on the slide, but he continued exploring and experiencing all things wet. He couldn't figure out why the leaves kept sticking to himself or his tricycle. All he cared about was wiping his wet hands, getting the mud off his shoes so he could climb, and yelling at the squirrels to stop so he could get a closer look. There were no other people at the park. It was Landon's park for that moment and we enjoyed every minute of it.

 

 

A little rain never hurt anyone. The little things...

Type1Diabetic Mom Moment

It's the first Monday of the new year and so far it is starting out with a bout of bronchitis for myself. Not the best way to start the week especially since it is the first day back to school for my son and of course his blood sugars would have to be extra high... BG359... let's start this week with a BANG!

I am enjoying my morning coffee and the few moments of quite time as Landon sleeps. I have heard plenty of times that as a stay at home mom how could I possibly be tired. Well, I haven't been a stay at home mom forever. I do sometimes miss the world of Marketing. I miss the level of responsibility, the deadlines, product development, and the fruition of products turning into a success. But, the rewards of watching my toddler grow and experience all the things in life are priceless. With my older son Daniel, I spent so many hours at work that I missed so much. I feel like I didn't know him as a child like I do Landon. Daniel spent everyday in daycare and once he started school, he began and ended his day in daycare. It wasn't until my husband and I decided that I could stay home did I truly get to learn about Daniel.

As we approach his 3 year Diabetes Birthday this month and as I write this I realize how wonderful this blessing is to be a stay at home mom. Our family deserves this time to just enjoy the simple things. I enjoy the ups and downs, highs and lows, and all the in betweens.

As a mother to a Type 1 Diabetic, life has changed. After years of struggling to conceive another child, we sought fertility treatments and after two rounds we were blessed with the pregnancy of our little Landon. I was immediately placed on bed rest do to a placenta tear. Although as difficult as that may be, it wasn't as difficult as the life changing news we were about to endure as Daniel went into Diabetic Keto-Acidosis and spend four days in PICU. Daniel was eight years old. I was six months pregnant and sleeping on a pull out bed next to our son. I wouldn't leave his side as we learned how to care for him. Loma Linda Children's Hospital became our home and as we learned our new way of life I couldn't at that time imagine what life would be like today.

  

Today, I have two boys who share the most amazing bond. There is no better buddy than a brother! Landon adores his big brother and Daniel in return couldn't imagine life without his baby brother. We may have a new life with our Type 1 Diabetic, but with this new way of life came a new blessing as well, the birth of our miracle baby. Landon doesn't know the difference between himself and his brother. He asks everyday for his shot when his big brother gets his insulin. We just giggle. Landon thinks everyone gets their sugar checked, eats special snacks, and carries all their supplies. We fill Landon's bag with his snacks as he wouldn't have it any other way. He wants to be just like Daniel. He looks up to Daniel as any little brother does. In Landon's world, diabetes is normal and his big brother is just AWESOME! I agree!!!



Happy 2015

I begin 2015 with the sweet giggles and "I wobb you Mommy" from the precious face of my toddler. We had just got home from a New Years Eve get together a little after 10pm, and to my surprise my little one made it to the midnight hour to ring in the new year with us and our older son. With plenty of fireworks going off outside it was hard to get him to fall asleep. Myself, nursing my cold, a toddler experiencing his first New Year's Eve with a million "what's that?" questions, I think I finally fell asleep somewhere after 2am. 

Then to my surprise at 7am, this little face wakes me up with a sweet hand to my face and a angelic voice saying "wake up Mommy" so, how could I resist. A quick jump in the shower, packed clothes for layering, and our family is out the door for breakfast to begin our first day of 2015. 

Let's start with a day of snow! 

And, a little sibling snowball fight for Mom to capture on camera! 

I love 2015 already and not just because it’s the year that we will meet all our new blessings and adventures, but simply because it’s the year that our family has started living in our new place, in a new city, with a revived feeling of readiness to explore and enjoy life.

It’s the year that we will strive to make our marriage more.

It’s the year that we will let Jesus guide us EVEN MORE than we did last year.

It’s the year that we will take adventures and spend time making memories that will be everlasting. 

I had a feeling that 2014 was going to be hard to top, but I have no doubt… 2015? Is going to be the best year yet. Here's to the new year... Let's begin.