The 5 things your kids will remember about you

It’s a funny joke, but also an important reminder that life is short and our time with our kids is going to go by fast. With that in mind, I want to make the most of every minute and create the kind of legacy that will endure long after I’m gone. This isn’t a morbid thought, but rather an important way to stay focused on what matters most with every minute we have with our kids.

As the Bible says, “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is.” Psalm 39:4

As parents, we tend to stress about things that don’t matter all that much. Our kids probably aren’t going to remember every detail of our home decor, or how perfect our landscaping looked or whether our refrigerator was stocked was name brands or generics. Let’s focus on what really matters. If you want to know what your kids will remember about you, here it is:

5 things your kids will remember about you:

1. The times you made them feel safe (or the times you made them feel unsafe).

There’s a vulnerability and a need for protection in the heart of every child. Your kids will remember those moments you chased the monsters from under their bed or held them after a nightmare, but they’ll also remember the times when your temper became the monster they feared. Our kids are probably going to see us angry sometimes, because that’s part of life, but make it your mission to make your children feel safe and secure at all times when they’re with you.

2. The times you gave them your undivided attention.

Kids measure love primarily by our attentiveness to them. The times you stop what you’re doing to have a tea party or go outside to throw a ball or jump on a trampoline with be memories etched into their minds and hearts forever. Take the time to do the little things with your kids, because in the end, they’ll be the moments that matter most.

3. The way you interacted with your spouse.

Our kids are forming their views of love in large part by watching how we treat our husband or wife. Strive to have the kind of marriage that makes them excited to get married someday. Give them the security that comes from seeing their Mom and Dad in a committed, loving relationship with each other.

4. Your words of affirmation AND your words of criticism.

A child’s heart is like wet cement and the impression made early in life will harden over time. They’ll base their sense of identity, capability and even self-worth largely upon the words you speak to them in those formative years. Part of our job as parents is to correct and discipline, but even in correction, let your words be full of love, encouragement and positive reinforcement.

5. Your family traditions.

Kids love spontaneity, but they also have  deep need for predictability. They’ll remember with great fondness the “traditions” you establish whether it’s a weekly family movie (or game) night, a place you regularly travel for family getaways, the way you celebrate birthdays and special events or any other special tradition. Be intentional about creating some traditions that they’ll want to pass onto their own children someday.

Dear 38

Dear 38,

Woah! How are you already over? Congratulations on being the fastest year of my life.

If you could waltz, I feel like we did. I don't know how to waltz. So basically, I didn't know how to do this year.

You were hard, 38. You brought a lot of moments that I wasn't prepared for. You brought health scares and stress. You were overwhelming and it was hard to handle at times.You brought moments when literally the only thing I knew to do was to fall on my face and just cry and pray. And that was hard. But I'm thankful for it. You brought me closure to my faith in God. 

You also brought a lot of new. So much new, actually. You brought new experiences. New restaurants, new cities, new memories. You brought San Francisco in a new way! A double decker bus I hadn't rode since I was a child through Bay Bridge Park, visiting SF Public Library. Eating lunch on the Wharf and late night coffee and pastry runs while shopping.

You brought surprises. I like surprises. People are the best surprises and you brought me family from Singapore!  A small group that I love and encourages me to grow. A husband and father that constantly points me to Christ and never fails to make me laugh. A daughter that loves adventures and Target as much as I do. A mother who has undenying love for myself no matter the situation. 

You brought growth. This year I got to watch my boys grow like crazy. Landon giggles and chatters on in his gibberish and keeps us on our toes. Daniel is becoming more stable in his Diabetes care. It also brought personal growth. I have grown more confident in myself and who I am.

You brought accomplishments. I've repaired relationships and moved forward from others. I've personally grown. I'm now gluten free and live a vegan lifestyle. My kids hate it. 

You brought feelings. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. 38 was filled with all the feels.
You brought confusion and understanding. You brought stress and peace. You brought pain and comfort. You brought conflict and resolution.

You brought all of these events- and every single one of them, even the hard ones, reminded me that God is faithful. He started good work in His kids and He is not going to up and leave them when they mess up. God is faithful to wait it out.

Thank you for a crazy fun, crazy hard, crazy new, year. I hope 39 teaches me just as much about who God is and how faithful He is. And is filled with twice as many pastries and tea along the way... 

Yours Truly,

MariaAnn 

You are a good mom

I found a post I had written when my son was young. It's a great reflection post to read and share... 

Several months ago I wrote this post describing what no one told me about becoming a mom. My baby recently turned one and I am so thankful we made it through that first year. Although most of those hard times are behind us, I think we trade them for other challenges. One of the biggest challenges I face is feeling guilty.

As moms, we often let ourselves believe that when our child is hurt or doesn't succeed, we are failing. My prayerful goal for 2013 is that I won't allow myself to believe those lies and that you won't, either. So next time those negative thoughts start to creep in, remind yourself that...

When you child falls down, you are still a good mom.

When your child get sick, you are still a good mom.

When your child throws a tantrum, you are still a good mom.

Whether you have a career or stay home, you are a good mom.

When there is oatmeal on the kitchen floor and it has been there for three days, you are still a good mom.

When frozen pizza becomes a basic food group, you are still a good mom.

When the kids are screaming, the dog is barking, the smoke detector is going off, and someone is knocking on the door, you are still a good mom.

When you want some alone time, you are still a good mom.

When your birthday party isn't Pinterest worthy, you are still a good mom.

When your child isn't potty trained, you're still a good mom.

When some days are just hard and you put on Daniel Tiger and walk away, you're still a good mom.

When your husband comes home to a messy house, an un-showered wife, and screaming kids, you are still a good mom.

When I think about my childhood, I don't remember every meal my mom made, how clean the house was, or homemade decorations she made for birthday parties. I do remember her holding me when I fell, eating pizza on the living room floor in the middle of a thunderstorm, and spending lazy days watching movies. I remember falling asleep on the couch and being carried to my bed. I remember laughing with my mom and I remember crying with her.

"Mommy guilt" is real. Today you may be feeling like a bad mom. But know this - regardless of the chaos surrounding you and your household..... YOU are a good mom.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some oatmeal to clean up...

How to become more organized in 21 days

I love all things organization. I love baskets, bins, label makers, planners, folders, lists, and calendars. However, I am not an organized person. Although I love when things are in their place, it doesn't come naturally for me.

I have worked very diligently at becoming more organized over the past two years. It has been proven that repeating a task for 21 days forms a habit. It took a few weeks of enforcing these small tasks but they quickly became habits and my home stays more organized because of it.

1. Have a catch all drawer, bin, or basket -  Inevitably, there are going to be small items that really just don't have a home. A cabinet door handle, a lone crayon, half a pack of gum, etc. Having a drawer for them prevents kitchen counter pile-ups. 

2. Create three bins for bills, to file, and receipts -  This was a game changer for us. Whenever I check the mail I don't always have time to pay the bills or file paperwork right away. The bins prevent them from piling up on the desk or counter until we could get to them. It also keeps things from getting misplaced. It only takes 1 minute to put things in the proper bin.

3. Throw away junk mail as soon as you get it - We get so much junk mail. Quickly throwing it away cuts down on clutter.

4. Donate - If you don't use it, get rid of it. It is just creating clutter.

5.. Do one load of laundry each day - Putting one load in the washer each morning and in the dryer each night prevents those dreaded Saturday laundry marathons. 

6. Have a 15 minute "pick-up" session every evening - Set the timer. Straighten the main living area. Fold the blankets. Fluff the pillows. Place items that belong upstairs at the bottom of the steps to be taken up later. You get much more done in 15 minutes of focused time than you would think. 

7. Make your bed each morning - An unmade bed can cause even the cleanest room to look messy. Making your bed each day motivates you and sets the tone for the day. It also eliminates the temptation to climb back in, because who wants to mess up a freshly made bed?

8. Have a schedule... and follow it - On Mondays, I sweep and mop. Tuesdays, I clean the bathrooms. Having a schedule prevents every chore from falling on the same day or feeling like you can never catch up. I know this sounds a little over-the-top, but it really helps me when I stick to it. There are tons of free printables online. My favorites are here + here. 

9. Put things back - This is probably the most important tip and likely the most difficult. Put it back right after you are finished with it. This is something my family constantly works at but if we all make a conscious effort, the house stays much more organized. 21 days makes a habit, 21 days makes a habit, 21 days makes a habit... 

10. Use a planner - Whether you struggle to remember things or not, using a planner is a good idea. It prevents you from missing appointments, double booking yourself, and reminds you when things are due.

11. Use baskets - I use baskets for everything. I have one for blankets, DVD's, toys, and magazines/books. That's just in the living room. They make clean up easy and make your home feel much more organized. Target always has a great selection of baskets along with TJ Max + Marshall's. 

To some, organization comes naturally. Others of us love when things are in order, but don't have the diligence. Some of you are likely being encouraged by your spouse, parents, co-workers, or boss to become more organized. Whatever your reason, I hope you leave motivated + ready to get organized!

Diabetes diary 1/25/16

A update on our diabetes journey. I suppose in the daily routine of life, I've become accustomed to the ups and downs that I often forget to take a moment to post. I have to admit the freedom of Daniel living life on an insulin pump has been life changing. Blood sugars are much better. There are still the spikes. There are still the lows. The disease still reminds us it is here everyday, but to our family it is just business as usual. We correct as the time arises and in the meantime enjoy life to the fullest.

The boys are growing up and thriving. The winter season is upon us. Daniel is busy playing basketball for his junior high. He wears his insulin pump during his game proudly on the back of his basketball shorts. The referee before the game does mention it to the other team I suppose as a sign of caution. The boys are boys and still play just as rough as usual. I wouldn't have it any other way. Let them play ball! 

He is just one of the boys with not a care in the world. It is just the way it should be for a twelve year old in the seventh grade. He is accepted as one of his peers and is going through his pre-teen years in stride. 

As I sit here tonight and write this post I'm so thankful for this moment to reflect on how far we have come in Daniel's journey. Four years has just passed since he was diagnosed, he is six months into using his insulin pump therapy, and with every site change I see his skin heal from all the injection sites he once had from years of many injections he had daily. It is such a blessing to see such a difference. 

Let's continue to have a great new year. I'm looking forward to what's next to come. My Type 1 kid rocks! 

Another cloudy morning...

Well, we've made it almost to the middle of January and we have woken up to another morning of possible rain. It's not the usual sunny winter days I've grown accustomed too, but I do love the rainy weather. This is the first winter I've had to search for different types of coats for my preschooler. What three year old wouldn't want coats and rain boots? With hoods or without? With that said the search begins. Little did I know our stores did not plan for the El Niño storms and had already displayed spring clothes. I even searched after Christmas clearance sales for coats with hoods and stores didn't seem to have anything. On-line shopping is always a better option anyways and did my little guy have fun at carters.com and of course you can use all their store coupons on purchases! We are ready for the rainy preschool days ahead.

Oh the joys of childhood. If only life could be as joyful and colorful as our early childhood forever. 

Preschool 101

What a great way to begin the new year than to begin with a new adventure... Our youngest has reached another milestone and into the wonderful world of being an independent preschooler. 

So much has happened over the last few months, Where do I begin? I have taken a few months off from my blog and focused on our family, the Christmas holidays have came and gone, the decorations are all put away, vacation is over, it's the new year, and with that comes a sense of renewed hope towards this upcoming year. I don't have any silly New Year resolutions like a fad diet. I focus on family and spiritual well-being. 

With that said, as vacation came to an end, Landon wanted to go back to school too just like the older kids. I did my research of area preschools in the fall and had prepared for him to begin, but he wasn't prepared, suddenly to our surprise over Christmas vacation, he determined on his own it was his time. It is true how some children will just let you know when they are ready. It really was that simple. 

I made the phone call to tour the preschool, met with the Director, looked into two available classes, which I then watched and observed which one Landon seemed to gravitate towards. I allowed Landon the ability to feel comfortable to explore the classroom and meet his teachers. I want him to build self-confidence and be reassured it was a safe environment. He chose his class almost instantly and stayed for 20 minutes without any hesitation. It was an easy decision. That was his class and we were off to Target to shop for his backpack as I'd promised. 

His first day was a breeze! He didn't shed a tear. He is completely independent. What a joy it is to see the happiness in his eyes as he talks about preschool. He shares stories at the dinner table of his activities and his day. It is bittersweet for myself as he is my youngest. I am beyond proud to watch him grow into a boy. He walks proudly to get to school and waits patiently in line for class. 

And as I leave him each day and say good bye I know he's having the most memorable few hours of his day. He tells me all about it later and we spend the rest of the day enjoying his stories. He looks forward to another school day and wishes it were longer. He's so tired when I pick him up, he falls asleep during lunch. The funny thing is he doesn't realize he has taken a two hour nap when he wakes up refreshed to pick up his big brother from school. 

This was the right time for Landon. His life as a preschooler is very exciting and we encourage him to share his experiences and learn all that he can. That's what life is about! 

Ready for Division Championship

The Upland Chargers are ready for their Division Championship game this Saturday at Noon and then next weekend we will play in Arizona on Saturday the 7th for our National Berth to Florida for Pop Warner ESPN Disney Televised National Championship. Wow! I feel like it's a dream. 

Last week we played High Desert and remained undefeated. Diamond Bar lost to Fontana which leads to our next game against Fontana. We are the number #1 seed. At our parents meeting tonight, we all realized the blessing we have in these boys. They have a gift together. 2015 Upland Chargers pee wee division championship bound! 

Game ready throwing up the U! 

The smallest player... Lol

Gametime!!! 

Time to head to my seat in the stands and get ready to watch our boys fight for the WIN! 

There's Daniel in all black going out for the coin toss. Moments of joy and pride for myself to know with diabetes he can do this, he can play a game he loves. Injuries happen, but he's watched over by a special angel. 

Here's some game pictures...

The game ends 40-16! Celebration time!

The team is made up of amazing young men. They work hard on and off the field. Pop Warner offers scholar awards for the boys as well for maintaining top gpas during the season. It's a difficult schedule. Daniel is doing a great job. He's tired, his blood sugar struggles, he studies late, but he's figured out how to manage his time. He's amazing! 

This Mama is proud of you and especially your little brother. Let's get another win this weekend. #cantstop #wontstop #gottagottagottawin #uplandchargers 

A burning connection between a mother and her son

Those of us blessed with sons know that there’s an undescribable connection that a mother and son have between each other. I am fortunate enough to have 2 sons and while they’re loud and rough and smelly (oh, so smelly!!)as they are growing up. I love them so much that it’s hard to put in to words. 

I recently reflected on my feelings as a mother of a son and the words will probably resonate with other mothers completely if you have a son. 

"Although my son is already a little grown-up I still remember how I was warned before having him that boys love their mamas — and I thank my friends for the fair warning. But what no one warned me about was what the deep, burning, connection that I’d feel with my son. A connection that only him and I will ever understand. The connection that is only known between a mama and her boy. 

It’s so true! When I had my first son people all around me told me how boys love their mamas and I was so happy for that. I didn’t realize how protective, responsible, and passionate I would feel back.  I have a daughter too and I think I also have a deep burning connection with her, but it’s just different than with my boys. 

This little brave little boy has been through so much and yet his love and attachment to myself is still so pure. A son is a gift to a mother. Such a beautiful soul blessed by God. 

"Another soul connected to mine from the moment we met. Never a moment of separation. My heart melted with his. A true love that will last a life time. An inseparable bond. Mother and son" 

The loves of my life are truly a mixture that blend to keep my heart complete. 

Friday night thoughts

As I sit her tonight and ponder on why we go through certain things in life, I wanted to share some thoughts. I am so grateful for what really matters in life, real relationships, real love, real friends, and my amazing family. People for so many years have tried to say things about me, my character, my life, that Leonard and my relationship is wrong, but here we are still going strong. 

All of the things I have been accused of have been shut down and proven wrong, because none of it was true. I have fought hard for justice, I have fought for what's right, I will never stop, I am stronger because of all of that!... I will not be boastful in someone else's pain, that is not who I am. I will be grateful when God is faithful and lives up to his promises.  Evil will not prevail. 

Thankfully he continues to protect me and blesses me with great things in my life because I choose to be a good person even when doing the wrong thing would have been easier at times. I do not hurt people for sport, I do not use people, I do not manipulate, or lie for my own financial gain. I am not perfect by any means and of course have made mistakes in my life, but also have a virtue called integrity and that is the compass that leads me through life! I am unwavering in my beliefs and moral fiber and I will not back down because I am not afraid of a fight. Sometimes God sends his sheep to fight the wolves. 

People have now seen the truth, thankfully, despite certain peoples malicious intent to destroy that belief of who I really am. So tonight I am grateful for that and want to thank everyone who has endlessly supported me and fought for me. It means more to me than you know. The light always overcomes the darkness. 

Thursday Night D-Mom Post

It's been a long week and I'm ready for the weekend. Daniel has had abnormal blood sugars this week. He has been waking up in the 300's. His weekly average is in the 200's and his highest BG470. Type 1 diabetes sneaks up on you... We had beautiful numbers for one week and seemed to be free from hospital downloads for a month. His blood sugars hit a point of stability and we had a few high and a few lows. This week it's highs, which result in sudden lows from too much insulin. These are the wonderful moments as a mother of a Type 1 Diabetic that I wish didn't exist. 

Checking his blood sugar at least 8 times a day. He even checks mine at times. I don't mind. It's the least I can do to support my son as he does it so much. If he wants to know my blood sugar I gladly volunteer. Mine always seems to sit in the 80s. Daniel always tries to trick my blood sugar with candy, soda, or something else extra sweet, but I'm not a sugar eater in general so it doesn't change my numbers much. It's the little fun we have. Any fun we can have with this disease we try to have. It's something we live with, but it doesn't control our lives anymore. 

The boys and I busy as usual, but I wouldn't have it any other way. School, appointments, football, errands... It all makes my world go around. Never leave without the iPad in hand. You never know when you might get stuck in traffic or waiting an extra long time somewhere and I need to keep a 3 year old busy with his preschool activities. 

At this moment, I'm praying for better blood sugars, a great football game for Daniel and his team, quality time, and some beautiful weather. Life isn't always about material things, I enjoy the smiles of my children and their laughter and joy. There's never a dull moment in my life with two little boys. The wrestling, the fighting, the giggles, the rough housing, the noise, the smelly socks, the skateboards I trip over, the monster trucks I step on... That's my life! 

More to blog about soon... 

Upland Chargers made the playoffs

The team throwing up the big U! They won their final season game against Rialto 14-0, shutting down another team and remaining undefeated. These boys make up a great team and together have something special. The defense not allowing points scored with the ability to break the offense of the other team down  is exciting to watch. They deserve the road they are headed on. Go Chargers! 

Here are some pictures from Saturday...

Walking out for the coin toss and there is Daniel #32. I still can't believe how much he has grown. He looks so tall on the field, yet at home he seems like my normal son. He's almost as tall as me. He checks daily. That's his goal the day he passes his Mom. It will be soon. He looks me in the eye now and is so strong. 

Well we won the coin toss, we were on the board first. Here is a picture of Daniel on a tackle which stopped their touchdown run. 

Trucking time... Push push push! 

Landon had the best seat in the house. Front row on the team bench. Lucky little brother. 

Get that interception!!!! 

What an exciting day! I have so much videos. Daniel is doing amazing. His blood sugar is being controlled better with his pump although he still needs injections during the game. I suppose this will always be due to the length of time he is off insulin. His first progress report from Jr. High came in and for Avid and accelerated classes he is earning straight A's. This Mom is completely proud beyond words. He's learning to do chores and become responsible. God blessed me with an Angel. 

Landon follows in his footsteps. Learning,  playing football, doing chores, everything brother does he says I want to too. Life is wonderful. Two precious little boys who enjoy being together and learning from each other. 

What an exciting weekend! Let's see what next weekend has in store for us. Mom loves you Daniel. Your a great big brother and just an awesome kid! #type1strong 

Saturday Night Football Upland vs Rancho Cucamonga

In celebration of all the women fighting breast cancer or who are in heaven now looking down on us after loosing their battles, this game was for you all! In our own lives we all have either a family member or a friend suffering from breast cancer or has lost their battle. The boys know their own personal women they were playing for and released balloons with that woman's name on it. God Bless each and every woman with her battle. May she RIP if she has lost her battle. This was a tough night for many. We began our game with a moment of silence, a balloon release, and a prayer. 

Amen. 

Daniel #32 playing for my dearest friend in this entire world whom I've known from birth his Auntie Dee. His Auntie Dee is fighting her battle still and he wants her to know he dedicated his game to her. 

Gametime! Let's go Upland! One game at a time. Go Sosa #32! 

Landon and myself in the stands trying to take selfies. It's not so easy with a 3 year old anymore. He would rather watch the game or dance to music. 

He did enjoy his nachos. He sat on his blanket and ate them while cheering for his brother. He yelled go Chargers! He yelled go Brother! And when the music came on in between quarters or on timeouts, he had to get up and dance. It was a fun Saturday night.

It makes me wish all their games were at Upland High School on Saturday nights at 7pm. My Mama's boy was attached as usual. It was perfect weather for a night game. 

Upland beat Rancho Cucamonga 32-0! The boys are still undefeated. We take it one game at a time. Next game is this Saturday. 

Words can't begin to describe how proud we are of these boys. Between school, late practices, and tough competitions, these boys are amazing. We've suffered injuries. Daniel's suffered high blood sugars and low blood sugars during the games. Yet, God watches over our boys each and every single game. 

Just a silly picture of my son to remind everyone that he's still a little boy. He's only 12 1/2. Still a kid with huge responsibilities, but the kindest heart I know. I'm a proud Mama. His bg spikes extra high since he doesn't wear his pump during the games. He takes his miss basals and corrections, but adrenalines pumping. He's keeping up with school, had his first cold, doing chores, he's exhausted daily. 

Type 1 Diabetes is just something we deal with... It doesn't stop him!